


Not the most proper Nanny

by Pansexual_Sinner



Series: Nanny Ashtoreth [1]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Crossdressing, Drinking & Talking, F/M, Fictional Religion & Theology, Genderqueer Character, M/M, Other, Theology, discussion about gender
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-14
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2020-05-02 08:18:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19195138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pansexual_Sinner/pseuds/Pansexual_Sinner
Summary: After their first day of working for the Dowling family to meddle in the raising of the Antichrist Warlock, Aziraphale and Crowley meet at the bookshop and discuss some unimportant things over some wine. After that they meet more frequently in all kind of places and talk about everything and nothing.





	1. At the bookshop

**Author's Note:**

> I integrated some smaller details from the book into what we have seen from the TV Miniseries for that time. I loved the idea of Nanny Ashtoreth having a dog.  
> On June the 22th I updated this chapter and changed some things. I really wasn't happy with some parts, felt they were too offending and all, but now I hope this is better. 
> 
> I also had now a beta reader and I want to say: Thank you from my heart fictitiousponies!

It had been his first day as gardener for the Cultural Attaché's family and he had a very first glance at the Antichrist, who looked just like any other baby. For a moment he asked himself if Crowley may had played a trick on him and sent him here to make a fool of himself. They had agreed to start working for the family on the same day, but either he had just missed the demon or something else went wrong. Well he would probably see him tomorrow, he was confident enough, he could trust his old... that he could trust the demon who wanted to prevent Armageddon just as badly as he wanted.

 

At least so far. Not that he was the type of fallen angel one should trust more than they could throw him. But they had planned ahead some years from now and Aziraphale refused to believe that everything was just a big set up by Crowley to distract him from something. Of course he always said, one had to think big, but that normally involved pissing off as many people as possible with his plans. Over the last 6000 years he had never really attempted to trick him personally like that and Aziraphale didn't see a point in why he should start now. If he would keep him away from the real Antichrist, it wouldn't matter. Armageddon would come and they would fight the last war and win it. That was as safe as the Bank of England.

 

The angel just hoped that Hell hadn't found out already what they were trying to do and had caught Crowley. An unpleasant shudder ran down his spine. He didn't want to think of all the things the other demons could do to him, once they thought he was betraying them. For a moment he was sunken in the memory of that one fateful night, when he had brought Crowley a thermos can of holy water.

 

The sound of the front door of his shop opening and closing again, pulled him back into the present. It was already evening and he had decided to open his book shop for two hours at least to keep up his appearance that he would actually be interested in selling some books. Really unnerving, when he had to convince someone to not buy one and customers at such a late hour were most of the time the more persistent kind. Hopefully it wasn't one of those gentlemen again, who told him, it would be healthier for him to move his shop, or else a little fire could happen. Those were the most unpleasant ones. Luckily a short glance told him, it was a female customer who had decided to take a look at one of his shelves.

 

“Good evening madam, how may I help you?”, he asked friendly, but suddenly saw something moving in the corner of his eye. He quickly turned around to spot a large gray dog with an oddly red eye color, a spiky collar and no leash attached. His own eyes immediately flew to the strings of saliva that were dripping from the dog’s mouth to his precious floor.

 

“Excuse me, is this your dog? I'm afraid you have to leave him outside for a couple of minutes”, he said with a highly alarmed voice.

 

He didn't want to risk that the dog would ruin even one precious book with any body fluids or maybe decide to chew on one, even if he could use a small miracle to undo the damage. With a snap of her fingers, the animals ears went up, looking at their owner and then walking to the door on their own. Aziraphale hurried over to open it and watched how the dog went outside and sat down directly in front of the door, like they were meant to guard the entrance. Well he could live with no more customers coming in and closed it again.

Suddenly the woman started talking:

 

“I have thought that you liked all beasts of creation equally, angel. But I assume your books have become more important to you.”

 

“Crowley?!?”, he asked perplex, immediately recognizing the voice and now also realizing that the 'woman' had flaming red hair under her black hat. The demon in question turned around and presented himself in a knit tweed suit, some flat shoes with stockings, a pair of gloves and an umbrella which was of course as black as the whole rest of his outfit. He wore some sunglasses he had never seen on him before, but also a pair of pearl earrings, completed by some lipstick. There was something about his whole appearance that made Aziraphale feel slightly uneasy.

 

“ What are you doing here in that... that costume?”

 

“Costume? I beg your pardon. I am Miss Ashtoreth and this is my working attire as Nanny for the Dowling family. I will look after young Master Warlock or as I prefer to call him the Adversary, Destroyer of Kings, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Great Beast that is called Dragon, Prince of This World, Father of Lies, Spawn of Satan, and Lord of Darkness. You also might call him the Antichrist.”

 

For a moment Aziraphale didn't know what to say. They had talked about him getting the job as gardener, but they skipped over the part where Crowley had planned to pass as his nanny. 'You'll see', he had just said yesterday. He really hadn't seen that coming! To be totally honest, he was quite fascinated that the demon did pass as a woman so easily. Of course he had always been lean, his hair had sometimes been long or styled a certain way and he had dipped a toe into female fashion styles here and there before, but this was a new level.

 

Until now, he couldn't recall any occasion where the demon had introduced himself as a Miss or Misses. However, the angel noticed that Crowley hadn't changed his face really, it was still bony and all hard lines, everything so familiar to him. He could of course with some effort make his body that of a female human, make his face softer, but he didn't and that was the part that puzzled the angel a bit.

 

“What? Did I leave you speechless?”, the demon asked in a slightly mocking tone and grinned satisfied, breaking out of his role of a proper Scottish woman.

 

“I uh... I didn't exactly expect that.”

 

“Yeah me neither, but I had a sudden strike of inspiration last night, when I thought back to that movie I have seen once. It was called Mary Poppins, any chance you saw it?”

 

“Not that I recall”, he admitted. He wasn't the angel who enjoyed movies and televisions as much as Crowley did. “But I believe there was a small series of children's books with the same name.”

 

“Probably, books are your world, not mine.”

 

“Indeed.”

 

A small pause followed and they looked at each other awkwardly. Aziraphale still hadn't made up his mind what to think about Crowley's choice of occupation and his outfit.

 

“So are you inviting me to some wine or do I have to help myself?”

 

The angel hesitated for a moment. Confused.

 

“What about the dog? Since when do you have a dog?”

 

“Since today. He was like an hour away from being put down, after he had bitten someone, I believe it was a kid.”

 

“Really? And why on earth would you bring such a beast near the baby? I think may have seen that dog today in the garden.”

 

At first he hadn't remembered it, thought it was the dog of the family, but now it had clicked. Crowley or rather Nanny Ashtoreth answered in slightly higher pitched voice:

 

“It's good to teach a child to have some natural respect for dangerous things. But don't worry, dogs are like plants.”

 

“How is that so?”, the angel asked now completely confused.

 

“They both obey you, when you make clear who the boss is. Rover is too afraid of me to misbehave.”

 

What Aziraphale wanted to ask was 'I know you said you were talking to your plants, but do you actually threaten them?' but instead he just asked:

 

“Maybe, but what about it now? You intend to leave him outside for the rest of the evening?”

 

After a short sigh and another snap of his fingers, Crowley told him, that Rover was now at his flat and that he should just close the shop, so they could talk alone. When he was about to turn the 'Open' sign to 'Closed' he peeked outside to find the place in front of his door empty. He then invited the demon with the playful words: “After you, Miss Ashtoreth”, to his backroom.

 

“Thank you, Brother Francis”, was the amused answer.

 

The moment Crowley sat on the couch, he fell into his normal slouched position and looked extremely unladylike. He had opened his jacket to reveal an equally black blouse underneath with a dark red button border. It was the color like the bow he wore around his neck, but was now busy loosening it. The angel offered him a glass of wine before sitting back in his favorite chair and picked up the conversation again:

 

“I always thought you were more like a cat person.”

 

“Huh?” Crowley asked slightly distracted, while he tried to take the finely knitted garment off completely and hang it over an armrest. He had switched back to his normal tone.

 

“You always give the impression that you are a person who would own a cat instead of a dog.”

 

“Why do you think that?”

 

“Well first because cats like to bathe in the sun and hunt rodents, just like you know, snakes do. And second I think your personalities would fit. Not to forget that people think that black cats are a bad omen and that these animals are tied to evil beings throughout the history of men.”

 

Crowley finally had made himself comfortable enough to drink some whine before he answered slightly irritated:

 

“Yeah exactly, humans. Not demons. And don't get me started on all the evil witch bullshit with their cats, you know as good as I that they are a gray zone and most of them are on neither side of us. But I admit I might have had a hand in creating that superstition about black cats... And for the record I wasn't a snake for a very long time.”

 

Aziraphale looked surprised by that piece of information, cause he had just assumed that the demon would like to transform back into his true form from time to time.

 

“Then what about your personalities? From all I know you talk so often about sleeping, you could be a cat yourself, even when you don't have to.”

 

“I'm not like a cat!” Crowley exclaimed.

 

He sounded offended and took a big gulp of his wine, making his glass half full or half empty, depending on how you wanted to see it. It was beyond him, why humans insisted, that such a simple choice of words could show you, if you were a pessimist or an optimist. He continued:

 

“Cats can be pretty much assholes like you have up in Heaven. Like... archangel fucking Gabriel and such. No, no. Hell likes to rely on something more reliable. Something like big hellhounds with big sharp teeth.”

 

Aziraphale thought about that for a moment while watching his drink sloshing in it's glass as he was  spinning it slightly around. He had heard about those beasts and was glad that he had never seen one before.

 

“Why is it the first time I hear that you own a pet?”

 

“I could ask you the same thing, angel.”

 

“I wouldn't have enough time to care for it properly.”

 

There was a big grin on the demon's face as if there was some kind of 'got cha!' moment.

 

“As I said some minutes ago, you care most about your books. No time for actually living things unless your head office sends you a note to do some work.”

 

“That is very untrue and a rude thing to say. I care about humans a lot! That is kind of the whole point, why we are sitting here, having conversations about stopping the end of the world!”

 

Aziraphale focused back to his glass of whine, missing the longing glance and was total oblivious to the inner fight Crowley had about if it was worth asking, if he also cared about him. Since nothing similar came out of his mouth, he had decided that he wasn't drunk enough to ask a silly question like that. Instead he rearranged himself on the couch not caring that his skirt was riding up a bit. It wasn't like he had to keep up the act here in the privacy with his friend.

 

Said friend had looked up, when he registered the movement and also hold back a comment about how improper the demon looked like this. He knew it would only earn him a snarky remark in return that it was part of the job description to be indecent.

 

“So when exactly did you decide you would become his nanny?”

 

“I guess it must have been, when I saw the add in a magazine.”

 

“What kind of magazine?”

 

“Don't know... was it 'The Lady'?”, the demon tried to remember this unimportant detail.

 

“Should I ask why you have been reading that?”

 

Crowley shook his head and some strands of his perfectly styled hair threatened to fall loose.

 

“Better not.”

 

Aziraphale stood up briefly to fill up both of their glasses again.

 

“Other question, why did you decide to take that occupation?”

 

“Well we couldn't be both gardeners, right? If one of our sides finds out about this, it has to look like that I do everything I can to make him evil and that you are doing everything to make him good without letting me know that you are there, thwarting me, remember? And my superiors expect of me to kinda look after the brat and make sure to bring Armageddon right on it's way. Being his nanny will guarantee me the best position to do that... So what do you think about the Antichrist?”

 

The angel shrugged, not sure what to say.

 

“He looks normal. He feels normal, not like the son of Satan.”

 

“Yeah as I said, he wasn't born evil. And he has this kind of natural protection that nobody, not even you could sense anything or suspect him of being the seed of the ultimate evil. It is all according to plan.”

 

Another minute of silence followed. Both slowly drinking from their glasses and it seemed like the demon was giving him the time to sort his thoughts.

 

“Crowley, can I ask you another question?”

 

“Technically you already did. But you can ask me nearly anything, angel.”

 

That stopped his train of thought for a moment. What an odd thing to say, he thought, before he returned back to what he wanted to know:

 

“Have you ever well, cared for a child before? Do you even know, what you have to do when you have to raise a kid like that? Being his nanny is a big responsibility.”

 

Before answering, he took off his sunglasses, revealing his snake like eyes and to show off the amused look he was casting towards his friend.

 

“You really think I couldn't handle this? You know that I am fucked before the end of the world even starts, if anything happens to their precious Lord of Darkness. Besides how hard can it be? I manage to keep plants and Rover under control. Some say raising a human child is not unlike training a dog.”

 

“I very much doubt that, my dear boy”, Aziraphale answered quickly. He was already imagining everything that could go wrong with the kid. Antichrist or not, the angel would feel terrible if anything would happen to him.

 

“Doesn't matter. If anything happens, I just miracle it away... just like Mary Poppins. You really should see the movie, it was fun.”

 

“No thank you.”

 

“Well it's your own fault that you're missing out. But now allow me a question. Brother Francis? Really? And that disguise of yours, how did you end up with that?”

 

“Was it good?”, the angel asked and practically started beaming. He came up with the design of his character all by himself and without any cheap movie to copy from.

 

“It was terrible! Where did you get those clothes from? The century before last?”

 

“Oh you have to talk! Correct me if I'm wrong, but your outfit isn't something people wear nowadays either. And don't take this the wrong way but I'm unsure as to why you didn't make your body female to fit with the Nanny Ashtoreth persona. Would it not be more convincing to the humans?”

 

“Would you like to see me in a female body?”, Crowley asked in a serious tone, too serious for him after a whole bottle of wine already. The angel had noticed that he had miracled himself the bottle to the couch, so he wouldn't have to stand up for refills. Aziraphale was a bit behind with just his second glass, but he already felt like he missed something in their conversation. A bit confused he answered:

 

“That's not what I said. I said it might be more convincing to the humans.”

 

“Says the guy, who wears nearly the exact same outfit for what? The last 150 years?”

 

“That is something entirely different! It is still stylish.”

 

He was kind of a bit offended by this. But it was their normal banter they had every now and then about his clothes. Sometimes he admired how well Crowley adapted to the different times and their styles and everything. He was like a real shapeshifter, ready to turn into the thing that was popular among humans right now. But it was so hard to keep up, especially in the last century it felt like everything was changing much quicker than ever before.

 

“It was out of style before the 21th century began and for your information, it's 2007, this might be the millennia, when humans and their free will finally decide they don't need to look a certain way to be a certain gender. You already see it happening all over. The Dowlings seemed perfectly unaware, I didn't even need a miracle for them to hire me. Makes me wonder if anyone besides you would even notice anything. And that may be because you know me.”

 

He didn't tell him about the miracle he had used beforehand so that he was the only nanny who would show up. That didn't exactly count, right? They still could have turned him down. So he didn't see the point in making some serious changes to his body as long as he passed as what he wanted. He had come to like his own body and especially his face very much over the course of the last 6000 years. Sure he loved to change his clothes, his hair styles, his beards, his sunglasses, but not his body in general. That was even for him a bit off-limits, cause he was so used to it. That was another thing he didn't wanted to happen: To be incorporeal for the rest of eternity, if his side would win.

 

“If you say so... About the boy again”, Aziraphale tried to change the subject, since he was already feeling a bit too drowsy to continue the conversation about human gender nowadays, “As a gardener I will not have as much contact to him as you will, obviously. Especially in his early years-”

 

“What? Are you expecting from me to do your job as well, just because you picked the wrong occupation?”

 

“Well it's not like it would be the first time, we have an agreement, that you do some of my job, while I do some of yours in another place and time. But no. I was just suggesting you bring him outside as much as you can, so we can both have a look over him.”

 

“Wouldn't that ruin the whole point of keeping it a secret that we work together on this?”, Crowley asked back with a slight slurring of words.

 

By now he was practically lying on the couch and had toed his shoes off, leaving him in his stockings. Aziraphale couldn't help himself following the line of his legs to the hem of the skirt and found it oddly 'interesting' to look at them, for a lack of better words. It must have been some kind of devilish magic or a part of being a demon to look good in any clothes. Cause he very much thought that Crowley always looked good.

 

“You're probably right”, he answered after a minute of silence, that both hadn't really registered as long as it really was.

 

“We'll come up with something. There are also other people, who can take him out. Somebody has to look after him on my day off, right?”

 

“Right.”

 

Neither of them had much to say right now, so they drank together some more minutes in solitude too sunken in their own thoughts to care that they weren't talking anymore. After that Crowley decided to change their subject to something about music and they had a pleasant conversation until  around midnight, when the demon decided to sober up and drive home. After all, he had to take care of that animal now. Before he left, they agreed to meet again in three days in a cafe around the corner to talk again about the situation. Until then they could figure out a better plan.

 


	2. At the art gallery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two meet at an art gallery this time and Crowley is complaining about his work as Nanny a bit, contemplating about things they want to do, before the world maybe ends and then is ready to reveal what first name he had chosen for his persona.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After I thought about this fic a bit, I chose to make it a multi-chapter one and would start a new in the Nanny Ashtoreth series when the rating will change.
> 
> Update July 23th: I changed some things, deleted quite a lot, because I didn't like it anymore. The tone between Aziraphale and Crowley was too aggressive and I feel much more at ease with less theology discourse now. I just added a bit information about the origins of the name Ashtoreth at the end.
> 
> And bless you fictitiousponies for beta reading. You're rescuing this fanfiction!

 

Since they had started their new life, the one they had planned until the end of the world should take place, a few weeks had passed. So far not very much had happened for Aziraphale. He had the easy job, especially since he really didn't do much real gardening, Not the way a human would have done it. He spent most of his days sitting on benches or stairs around the big garden, that was so large it almost counted as its own landscape. Crowley had tried to give him some advice about how to handle plants and frighten them into growth. But he decided to take the complete opposite approach, and all his praise and care was just as effective as he had hoped and the garden bloomed around him.

 

The angel enjoyed his days out in the sun surrounded by nature. If he had to choose, he still would prefer being in his bookshop, but it was pleasant for a change. The only thing that would bother him during his days of work was Rover. At first, Aziraphale had felt really uncomfortable with the big dog staring at him like he was his next meal, but after he pushed that aside, he had realized that the canine was just as receptive to affection and being spoiled as the plants. So maybe Crowley did have a point when he said they had something in common. Now his real worry was not getting caught when he gave Rover some affectionate scratches behind the ear and some small treats.

 

It had been made clear from the beginning that the dog was meant to look fearsome and dangerous and it would be the understatement of at least a decade to say that Crowley would be unhappy with his dog being spoiled and made soft. Plus, he actually had his hands full of work and whenever they met in the evening, Crowley was complaining about every aspect of it.

 

One time Aziraphale had pointed out that he was under the impression that the demon liked kids. In fact, the angel could still clearly remember their talk from five thousand years ago about how God planned to drown the locals and their kids as well. The angel hadn't liked the idea either, but who was he to question her?

 

Crowley, on the other hand, had been blatantly shocked, even a bit outraged and downright sarcastic about it. That alone wouldn't have meant much, but what Aziraphale had never mentioned to either the demon or to anybody else, was that he had spotted those exact children aboard the ark.  Any miracles kept hidden from human eyes were still visible to him, but he never bothered to inform head office. He simply couldn't see any harm done, so he didn't thwart and it was never brought up by anybody.

 

It turned out that the demon had no problem per se with children or babies.

 

“Yeah well I like kids in general, yes, when they run around... and spread chaos... break things... are rude and everything. Not so much when they only sleep, eat, or cry, but that still isn't the problem.”

 

Crowley had made a short pause, probably to create tension.

 

“Everybody else is. I mean literally everybody around Warlock turns into... into infant like babbling idiots themselves. Why do all humans have this urge”, he spat the word as if it was venom from his mouth, “to use words like teensie-weensie? It's like babies short circuit the brain of every adult in the room and turn them into morons.”

 

The angel couldn't help but be a tad bit amused about how annoyed his counterpart seemed to be by such a simple sweet thing the humans did.

 

“I recall reading in a book that humans call it motherese? It's meant as an affectionate way of talking to their offspring. I think it's quite a lovely notion.”

 

“It's dumb”, Crowley had insisted. He never got over how Sister Mary Loquacious had talked to the actual Antichrist while knowing it was him. Maybe he would care less about that way of talking if he wasn't a demon who felt offended by how they talked to the Spawn of Satan. Not that the parents or other humans knew about that.

 

If they had it their way, they wouldn't have started to look after Warlock so early. There was not much they could do to influence a baby. They had planned to get a job with the Dowlings in maybe three or four years, but Hell had insisted that Crowley should take care of him personally as soon as possible. He was convinced it was some kind of retribution for doing the evil deeds his own way and not like he was expected.

 

As a matter of fact the demon was complaining about it again right now as they visited an art gallery that would normally not allow any pets. It would be a bigger miracle nowadays, if one saw Crowley or Nanny Ashtoreth without the beast. He still didn't take him into the bookshop, but into every restaurant, cafe, or theater. Of course they also took some pleasant walks in the park together.

 

"And I told them, that wasn't my stage. But of course they said, this was my moment to be a 'glorious tool' for Satan's plans. Next time I see Hastur or Ligur I will need all of my willpower to not discorporate them. This whole thing is nothing but a punishment and I bet those bastards enjoy every minute of my suffering.” he spat out, not exactly caring that he was disturbing the quiet atmosphere of the gallery where everybody else only dared to speak under their breath, including Aziraphale.

 

“You mean, that they are watching you and the boy closely now?" the angel asked, ignoring the empty threat of discorporating anybody.

 

Crowley was not dumb enough to do such a thing, and it also seemed they shared a dislike for violence. His demonic counterpart just needed to vent here and there, sometimes using very obscene swearwords that would mildly upset Aziraphale.

 

“Nah, I haven’t sensed anybody watching so far, but I’m sure they can feel how pissed off I am from down there.”

 

Despite the reassurance that nobody was watching, the angel cast a glance left and right, with an apologetic look towards the bystanders, before he whispered:

 

"Let's hope not. I don't want to think about what your lot would do with you, if they knew how you really felt about taking care of your master's son and Armageddon."

 

Crowley hummed and tipped his head slightly to the side while looking half interested at a painting that depicted a gruesome scene in an attempt to distract himself a bit. Sometimes he wondered if he should bother learning how to paint or do sculptures himself. He knew for a long time, that he was probably the only demon with a glint of imagination and creativity. The big question was, would demonic art be different from human art? Oblivious to his thoughts, Aziraphale was surprised by the sudden turn of subject when Crowley spoke again:

 

"Have you ever thought about writing your own book?"

 

"Pardon?"

 

"I mean... you already spent hundreds of years reading, restoring, and hunting first-editions. Did it never cross your mind to write your own? You have so much knowledge about the world, their history, heaven and such... You could write about so many things."

 

The angel gave himself a moment to think about the question that had come out of the blue and caught him off-guard.

 

"Well, not really. I always thought of myself as an observer, not someone actively participating and only intervening for the greater good. I don't see how writing a book would help with that."

 

He also never told his friend about that one infamous bible he had proofread and smuggled in something about himself. Looking back, he didn’t feel proud about doing that and though he would never admit he had done such a thing, it kept him from creating his own work.

 

"Why are you asking?"

 

Crowley shook his head slightly, and stammered shortly, stumbling over his own tongue before trying it again:

 

"You know, end of the world stuff. How we maybe only have less than eleven years left stuff. Eternity will be hella boring stuff... I was just wondering about the things we always wanted to try, but were too busy or we thought: 'I'll try that later.'"

 

The angel turned towards his companion and for a moment his eyes lingered on the red hair that was tied in a half up bun, letting most of his hair fall gracefully down onto the shoulders of the black blazer. It took him a while to get used to Crowley's appearance as Nanny or to the slightly pitched voice and accent. What made him feel a bit uneasy was the strict and upright posture that was so very unnatural for the demon, who most of the time looked like he was flexible as a snake even in human form.

 

While Aziraphale turned back to himself as soon as he went home to run his bookshop, the demon showed up sometimes in his usual appearance like today, but sometimes he stayed in his work attire. He always got used to new outfits and styles over time but the switching back and forth did not make it easier for Aziraphale to catch up. Their habits concerning how they presented themselves had always been something that divided them the most, beside the obvious characteristics that divided angels and demons per definition.

 

Both had tried to keep up with the human expectations of certain places during certain times to blend in, but the angel had always been kind of slower to adapt. He didn't see the appeal or necessity to change his appearance too often. Crowley on the other hand never seemed to have a problem with the ever faster changing fashion. The whole Miss Ashtoreth attire was still something new and it occurred to Aziraphale, that it was maybe something the demon wanted to try out for some time. Maybe getting himself a pet was as well? It piqued his interest, so he asked:

 

“Do you have many things you thought you’d have the opportunity to do later?”

 

“A bunch,” Crowley admitted with a short nod. “You?”

 

“Honestly, I don't know. I haven't thought about that yet.”

 

“Well maybe you should, the clock is ticking louder than it ever has before. Come, Rover.”

 

As his dark clad companion went to the next room with his dog, Aziraphale took a moment to let that sink in. He was thinking back to their talk some weeks ago about pets in general. It wasn't like he never wanted to have an animal around that he could take care of. Maybe he could create a small space for Rover in his backroom, so Crowley wouldn't have to leave him at his flat when he came over. After all, he had started to grow fond of the big mongrel too. As an angel he could feel love and affection, so he secretly knew that the animal was more important to his demonic counterpart than just a tool.

 

As for the rest, he would definitely sit down to think about the question. What did he want to do if they weren’t able to save the world? But he was also very curious now on what was on Crowley's mind when he had asked that question in the first place. He followed him to the next room to look at more art and found him in front of a small religious painting illustrating the scene of the serpent tempting Eve.

 

“I think this will look good in my flat.”

 

“Really? I know that pride is considered the sins of all sins and contributed a great deal to the fall of your lot, but really?” Aziraphale asked, a bit taken back and turned to face the demon now, who only turned slightly towards him with that smile of a bastard.

 

“Oh you have no idea, angel. You still don't know the first name I picked for my persona, do you?”

 

“Not that I recall.”

 

Crowley's grin grew wider, showed some teeth before he let out his small secret:

 

“Lilith.”

 

Aziraphale took a moment to think about it, his eyebrows rose in mild confusion, before he wanted some clarification.

 

“Lilith as in what some texts consider to be the first woman that the Almighty created before Eve?”

 

“Also Lilith who is called mother of demons and who went back to Eden in the form of the serpent to tempt Eve,” Crowley explained with a smug smile.

 

“Isn't that all a bit too egotistical even for yourself? I mean, mother of demons, really?” the angel asked in the same unbelieving voice he had when he had learned about the Antichrist being raised by an American diplomat.

 

“I'm practically raising the Adversary, Destroyer of Kings, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Great Beast that is called Dragon, Prince of This World, Father of Lies, Spawn of Satan, and Lord of Darkness for anyone's sake. If you want to say it like that, I brought him into this world. Mother of demons seems like the perfect description to me,” Crowley answered and Aziraphale wasn't sure if there was a touch of sarcasm in his voice or if he imagined that.

 

The angel had asked himself for centuries - millennia to be fair - how one being that was supposed to have a certain purpose could be so torn. On the one hand he clearly took pride being a demon, demonstrating it every day of his existence on earth. But on the other hand he was the most un-demon-like of his lot that Aziraphale probably would ever run across. Not that he had met many other fallen angels so far, but he sometimes picked up a thing or two about the Dukes and Lords of Hell as well as about the place in general.

It wasn't even half an hour ago when Crowley had told him about his reluctance to take the baby and bring it to the hospital, but now he was trying to make it sound like it was an honor.

 

“If you say so,” Aziraphale said and tried to sound neutral about it. “Just a question, did you have anything to do with the whole Lilith as the serpent thing?”

 

“Maybe I have, maybe I have not, angel. Maybe I had something to do with the belief in the goddess Ashtoreth, maybe not. Even if I did, I really don't remember those details.”

 

The angel shook his head in disbelief and pinched the bridge of his nose. They already had talked about that topic some weeks ago. Crowley argued that nearly no one today remembered the many names of the goddess of war and sexual love and therefore it was no big deal to name himself after her. By now Aziraphale was most certain, that the demon picked the most obscene and blasphemous names on purpose.

 

“Stop fretting, angel, it doesn't suit your face. Also I wasn't really going to buy this thing, I just wanted to see your reaction. If I want to hang up a painting of myself, it would have to show my glorious unholiness, not this pathetic excuse for a snake.”

 

“You're impossible you know that?”

 

Crowley just responded with a small laugh, before he passed the angel to continue looking through the gallery. He really was impossible, but if Aziraphale was honest with himself, he didn't want him any other way.

 

 


End file.
